Intangible costs of living abroad – without family
By Goh Wen Zhong
THE month of May in Britain is generally a welcome one – better weather aside, it sees two public holidays, both on a Monday.
This provides an opportunity for Londoners to return to their hometowns and spend a long weekend with their loved ones. Much as I would like to do the same, it’s far too expensive to fly back to Singapore just for one long weekend.
It recently struck me how little time I’ve spent with my family in the past three years.
It’s a running joke that I return to Singapore for a fortnight each year solely to remind my parents that they have a son.
Distracted by a sense of freedom and independence, I am guilty of occasionally forgetting that I have responsibilities beyond my employment contract. At times it’s hard to reconcile it all.
I made a decision to study abroad and work for an international law firm for the opportunities it offers and financial security it provides.
Yet, the issues an ‘overseas child’ has to grapple with are more complex than those of a workaholic and young adult seeking to climb the corporate ladder in Singapore.
Sometimes, the consequences are serious.
Last year, a good friend’s father suddenly fell critically ill. My friend was back in Singapore within 20 hours of receiving the phone call, but didn’t arrive in time to see his father one last time. Till today, he regrets not spending the Christmas just before the tragedy with his family.
More recently, a friend found out that her parents had decided to file for a separation.
She was shattered when her mother confided to her that she, being the only child, was the sole reason she hung on to the marriage. Now that she was working in London, her mum saw no reason to hang on to an unhappy marriage.
These anecdotes have put into perspective the intangible costs of being abroad. Yet, one cannot expect the best of everything without making concessions.
I weighed my options and made my decision with full awareness and my parents’ support. The sacrifices that come with it are not the sort many will readily make.
For now, I look forward to July when I return home for a month, fully determined to spend as much quality time with my family as I can.
The writer, 25, is pursuing professional legal training in London
Tags: Goh Wen Zhong
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